


Stress Fracture

by greycoupon



Category: Sex Education (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22605910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greycoupon/pseuds/greycoupon
Summary: Holding Eric's hand doesn't erase everything that came before.
Relationships: Eric Effiong/Adam Groff
Comments: 5
Kudos: 78
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	Stress Fracture

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maitimiel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maitimiel/gifts).



> Thanks to postmodernpromartheus and theonewhonothingknows for the beta. I loved Adam's grand gesture in the season 2 finale as well as his journey all season in discovering who he really is. That said, this isn't a John Hughes romantic comedy. Adam was a bully for years and he still has work to do if he has any chance of happiness with Eric or anyone else. This is me being a realist and thinking about what comes next. I wrote this for maitimiel for the Chocolate Box exchange. Only my second multifandom exchange ever. I hope they and everyone likes the story.

Adam had never considered himself a deep thinker. He didn’t plan or analyze. He just reacted in the heat of the moment. It had always gotten him in trouble. As a child he had teased his sister, Sarah, mercilessly just because it was fun. She had a barbie doll she adored. She played with it every day and insisted their mum buy her all kinds of clothes for it and even a stupid doll house for it to live in. She would dress Barbie up in different outfits and braid her hair.

Adam knew it was just a stupid doll. So one day when she had gone to the store with mum, he had gone into her room and picked up the doll. He stripped barbie naked and inspected her plastic body. Even at age six he could recognize she had breasts, but was missing other “girl parts”. Sarah’s stupid doll was broken.

So he hadn’t thought twice about pulling Barbie’s head off. He tossed it around like a ball, enjoying watching her hair blow around as it flew through the air. The natural next step was to see if he could remove the arms and legs. He could. So of course the next thing to do was flush the dismembered parts down the toilet.

Then the toilet clogged and started overflowing. Adam had panicked and ran into his room to hide. His mother had found the mess when she got home and Sarah had screamed and screamed. Apparently, she really liked that stupid doll.

Adam didn’t set out to be deliberately cruel. It was just his default to lash out first so no could see inside to how much he was hurting. With a strict, authoritarian dad and mum mostly focused on maintaining the guise of their perfect family, no one looked too deeply at him. Sarah was the good daughter. She got good grades, had the right friends and got the school scholarships. She never gave them any trouble as his father constantly reminded him.

Adam was just...not. He hated school. Books were long and boring. The teachers talked too much. He figured out pretty early how to spot the smart kids. They sat up front and asked questions. They got A’s on tests asked questions the teachers loved to answer. That made them easy marks. He didn’t even have to get that mean. Just growl once or twice and they were happy to let him copy their homework.

It honestly never occurred to him that he was inflicting trauma on these kids with his bullying. You had to be tough to be successful. His father had told him that. Boys who cried were weak. He had never set out to be mean to Eric on purpose. It just happened.

Eric was there and he was so different. He liked sparkly tops and wore make up and was not afraid of who he was. He stood out and was happy so Adam had lashed out like he always did. He was just too happy for Adam to take. Eric made him feel things, strange things he didn’t want to examine, so it was just safer to shove him into lockers and take his lunch.

Adam really hadn’t cared about anyone or anything. Girls were fun for hooking up. He had girlfriends, but they always got mad when he didn’t want to talk, forgot their birthdays or called them the wrong name.

He was just now starting to understand what self-hatred actually was. It was taking a lot for him to accept to that he was bisexual and that it was okay. He had been worried about what his parents would think. Eric had laid it out. The damage Adam’s bullying had done hurt Eric for years.

It shouldn’t be hard to hold someone’s hand. But he couldn’t before. He couldn’t open up like that. What his mum had said had triggered something in him. He had woken up for the first time. Eric thought he was too ashamed to express his feelings, he was about to prove him wrong. At that moment he knew he had to tell Eric how he felt and it didn’t matter where it happened or who was there to witness it.

He had run all the way to the school with his only thought being that he had to let Eric know. He hadn’t consciously planned on it being a spectacle. Because while Adam had realized things about himself on his path to self discovery, politeness and consideration for others were still a work in progress,

He just knew he wanted to hold Eric’s hand and to hell with who saw it.

Eric’s family had crowded around him chattering on. They thought he was brave. They wanted him to come to dinner. No one had ever invited him for dinner. He just showed up when he was hungry and people would sigh, shake their heads, and put out an extra plate.

Before Eric had come back, Adam’s dad had stomped over and told him they were leaving. Adam wanted to argue and usually would have, but his dad was coming unhinged so he told the Effiongs goodbye and left.

He knew he would see Eric later when he came to the window. And he did.

\---

Eric was wide awake waiting for the pinging of the stones Adam threw against the window. Once he heard the noise, he ran downstairs and outside to meet him. He exited the house in a run, but slowed as he neared Adam.

He hadn’t thought about anything else since leaving the school earlier, but, now that they were face to face, it felt a bit awkward.

Eric wasn’t sure where they were at exactly. Adam had held his hand in the loudest, most public way. But now what.

He hadn’t said he loved Eric. He hadn’t said he wanted to be his boyfriend. Grand gestures always worked out great in the movies because that’s where the film would end. You never got to see the characters have to deal with the hard stuff.

Adam poked him softly in the chest and Eric realized he had been standing there mute for a while.

“What are you thinking?” Adam asked him. What a loaded question.

“I’m just unsure. You held my hand in front of your dad and the entire school. That means a lot, but it doesn’t tell me what happens next.”

Adam shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Yes, he did. 

“Adam, what are we now? Are we a couple? Are you my boyfriend?”

Adam just looked confused. “Well, yeah. Isn’t that how this works? Jackson did that stupid song in front of everyone in the canteen and then Maeve was his girlfriend.”

Well, if that wasn’t the absolute worst relationship to compare them to given Jackson had been paying Otis for inside knowledge on Maeve. Although Adam didn’t know that part.

“Adam,” Eric started slowly. “Jackson barely knew Maeve and just did that to impress her. You didn’t burst into the middle of the play to impress me, did you?”

Please let him say no.

Adam looked upset. “No! I just wanted to tell you how I felt and I couldn’t wait. You said I couldn’t even hold your hand and….I just wanted to show you that I could.”

Eric smiled, relieved. “Good, I’m glad. This is all just a lot and I’m not sure where to go. We have a lot of bags to deal with.”

Adam shrugged. “It’s just your french horn and the bag can’t be that heavy.”

That got a smile out of Eric, but he wasn’t sure Adam was joking. “You know what I mean. Baggage. Given our past history.”

Adam winced and stared at the ground. “Do we have to talk about that stuff?”

“Yes, Adam. You realizing you’re bi and letting everyone in the world know doesn’t erase you being a bullying arse for years.”

Eric grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. He gently stroked the back of Adam’s hand with his thumb. It distracted Adam and made him wish it were darker out here or they were anywhere else.

Eric continued, “I know you have a lot of things to be angry about and all those feelings didn’t suddenly vanish last night.”

“My dad makes me angry, but he moved out of the house so he can’t yell at me all the time. Unless he comes back to visit. But I don't think he will. He likes Madam more than me.”

Adam looked very sad. Eric wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

Even though they had touched each other for pleasure a handful of times, it already felt nice and natural. Hugging Adam could make him forget. Doing more then that would make him forget everything. But he couldn’t if he wanted them to have a future.

Eric took a step back and Adam’s arms fell to his sides. He looked so dejected and his gaze fell to the ground again.

“Adam, look at me.” Eric took Adam’s chin in hand and tilted his face up so they were looking into each other’s eyes. They just gazed at each other and didn’t speak for a long moment.

“You need to talk to someone about all of this. A professional.”

“A professional talker?” Adam asked. “People get paid to do that?”

Eric smiled ruefully. “Sort of. A therapist. A shrink. Someone to help you process all of this and make sure you **’re ready for a relationship.**

“I’m not crazy!” Adam snapped before taking a giant step back. The distance of meters felt kilometers wide to Eric. This was going to be a tough sell.

“I know!” Eric hurried to add. He grabbed one of Adam’s hands again. He had already realized that holding hands had a calming effect on him.

“I know you’re not crazy, but you are dealing with a lot here. Talking to a therapist just helps you evaluate, process and figure out how to proceed. It really did for me.”

Adam gave him a look. “You saw a therapist? How come? You always seem so happy.”

Eric sighed inwardly and didn’t answer. Adam’s confused face morphed into understanding and dejection as he recalled their fight and Eric sharing how much the years of bullying had hurt him.

Adam looked down at the ground again. He was becoming intimately familiar with every blade of grass down there.

Eric hadn’t planned on telling him that part at first, but he wasn’t going to lie. Adam had to understand the damage his bullying had done to Eric and everyone else around him if he ever was going to move past it in a healthy way.

Eric squeezed his hand to get his attention. “It wasn’t just you. I was dealing with other stuff, too. But the point was it was really helpful even if I hated it at the time.”

Adam still wouldn’t look at him.

“Adam, beating up on yourself isn’t going to make it better.”

He finally met Eric’s gaze again. “I’m sorry.”

Eric wanted to shake him really hard to get this through his head,

“Stop apologizing and take some action. My therapist moved to Scotland a few years ago, but I bet Otis’ mom could recommend someone.”

Adam brightened at that. “New Kid’s mom? Mrs. Jean is very wise. She gives great advice. She smoked some good shit with me last year.”

Eric almost laughed. He was pretty sure Otis had not been amused. But anything to get Eric on board with this idea.

“So if Jean gets you a number will you call? Please? For me?” That last part was total emotional manipulation, but Eric figured the end justified the means.

After an interminable period that actually was only about 30 seconds, Adam nodded. “Okay, I will give it a shot. Anything to get that look off your face.”

Eric chuckled and hugged Adam. He pulled back and studied his face, Eric ran his finger tips up the sides of Adam’s face. He gently massaged the soft skin of his cheeks as he watched the moonlight bounce off the planes of Adam’s face.

Adam surprised him by abruptly grabbing both his hands and holding them in the air.

Eric started to say something, but the words died in his throat when Adam closed the distance between them and took Eric’s mouth in a kiss. Adam tasted like mint and cigarettes. It wasn’t a combination Eric normally appreciated, but in this moment it was ambrosia.

Adam grabbed his shoulders and pressed their bodies together. Adam sucked his tongue while he ground the beginnings of an impressive erection into Eric’s hip.

Eric broke the kiss, as much because he needed oxygen as anything else. Reluctantly he separated himself fully from Adam, pushing on the other boy’s shoulders to break all contact between their bodies.

Adam let out a groan that turned into the longest sigh in the history of the world.

He gave Eric a hesitant smile. “So, we are okay?” he asked.

Eric felt a myriad of emotions coursing through him, but the one that came out on top was hope.

“We will be,” he told Adam.


End file.
